By circumstances

By circumstances not chosen or expected I cannot talk with you at the moment, cannot send our daily flurry of notes and witty exchanges, cannot tell you what is that has floated through my mind, what I may have chances to see, what I have or have not done, and that is so hard. This exile is terrible to endure, but endure it I must. Today is your birthday and you have been in my mind so so much, what I might have said, what exchanges we may have had should closer intimacy have been possible. I lit a candle at the time we promised and looked into its flame hoping that you would be doing the same, as agreed, wondering, wondering. Later I felt a surge of love envelope me, and I felt sure it was you willing me to feel it. Such things we should not question, but should bless and be thankful for.
Now all I can do is post this and hope.